I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
