Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
