Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
if only i could text you this smell
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize
