we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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