Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
