when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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