Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
no more duck duck goose at the bar
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
