He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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