You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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