I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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