Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
