Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
