Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
