are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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