I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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