dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
