just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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