Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
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