i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
