I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Randomize
