and you said cock pushups were impossible
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Randomize
