Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Randomize
