I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize
