I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
home. puking in laundry basket.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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