For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
