every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I will be naked everywhere
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
