i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
