was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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