she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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