Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
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