Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
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