So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
