i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Randomize
