sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
