so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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