You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I'm getting married
To pizza
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
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