I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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