thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
