Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
