Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
