oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
