don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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