I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
