I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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