it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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