Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
