Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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