forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
