We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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