hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
